Trump Renames Pentagon ‘Department of War,’ Says Defense Is for Losers
WASHINGTON - President Trump signed an executive order Friday morning to rename the Department of Defense to the Department of War, a move that is estimated to cost the government $4 million over the next two years.
“We’re no longer calling it Defense Department we’re calling it War Department,” said Trump. “You know why. Because that’s what America does from now on, we do wars. We don’t do defense. Who does defense? Defense is for losers.”
Trump continued stating, “They say it’s going to cost money because we have to change office signage. I say who cares. What’s $4 million anyways. That’s less than what we spend on a single drone strike in the wrong country. Honestly, it’s a steal.”
Hegseth, who Trump already has referred to on occasion as the "secretary of war," expressed similar sentiments and said the change would reflect a broader, cultural shift within the Pentagon.
“We will no longer rely on defending ourselves as a nation,” said Hegseth. “Instead, we will start wars the likes of which you have never seen. You thought, World War Two was bad? Just wait until we start World War Three. Europe won’t know what hit them, except of course they will, because it’ll be bombs.”
Analysts warn the new name could strain diplomatic relations, but Trump dismissed the concerns. “Other countries will respect us more. China, Russia, even Canada. They’ll all say, ‘Wow, these guys mean business.’ Nobody messes with the Department of War. It sounds tough. It sounds sexy. Defense? Sounds like you’re hiding behind a couch.”
