Trump vs Musk
Interview: Trump Says He’s Not on Epstein’s List, Suggests Musk ‘Went Crazy’
Torn Wires sat down with Trump for a 25-minute interview, portions of which are transcribed.
The Fake News Media
Trump Deports CNN Reporter to El Salvadorian Prison for Asking Tough Question at Press Conference
WASHINGTON - President Donald Trump this week ordered the deportation of CNN White House correspondent James Costa directly into an El Salvadorian maximum-security prison after the reporter had the audacity to ask “a rude, nasty, very disrespectful question” about inflation. The press conference, which was intended to be a "
Elon Musk
Elon Musk to Start Defense Contracting Company to Steal More Money from Americans
AUSTIN, TX - Elon Musk announced plans this week to launch a new defense contracting firm, StarBrigade, aimed at accelerating his long-term vision of profiting off every corner of human existence, including international conflict. At a press conference held at Tesla's headquarters, Musk explained his motivation. “I’ve
Trade War
Economists Warn Tariffs May Increase Prices, Trump Says: “Just Stop Buying Stuff”
As economists across the country raise alarms over the potential cost of President Donald Trump’s latest round of proposed tariffs, the president offered a characteristically unconventional solution on Friday: “Just stop buying stuff.” At a press conference, Trump unveiled a sweeping proposal to expand tariffs on countries he described
Donald Trump
Trump Says Stranded Astronauts are Pure Evil After Finding Out they Voted for Harris
WASHINGTON - After praising the astronauts that were stuck in space for nine months, President Trump invited the astronauts to the White House and to a press conference Sunday morning. During the press conference Trump went from praising the astronauts to saying that the astronauts are "pure evil"
Health
FDA Approves First-Ever Prescription Strength Placebo
WASHINGTON — In a landmark decision this week, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the first-ever "prescription-strength placebo," ushering in a new era for the placebo industry and Big Pharma's never-ending quest to make billions of dollars off your misery. Dr. Karen Mills, the lead researcher
politics
President Biden Wins a $5 Bet on Trump Defeating Harris, Prompting Questions About Political Betting
In a twist no one saw coming (except, apparently, President Joe Biden), the Commander-in-Chief is now $5 richer after winning a bet on Donald Trump taking the White House over his own Vice President, Kamala Harris. "People said I was just being my usual ‘Uncle Joe’ self," Biden
Satire
Trump Says School Shootings Could be Avoided if School Crossing Guards Get Machine Guns
Mar-a-Lago, FL— Speaking from his home in Florida, Trump made a statement explaining that the recent Georgia school shooting is a tragedy but could have been avoided if school crossing guards had machine guns. "Let me tell you something, folks," Trump began. "If those school crossing guards