Civil Rights
WASHINGTON, DC - President Trump signed an executive order Monday morning demanding the Department of Education "institute segregation within the next 90 days." Leaked memos reveal that the Department of Education is wasting no time in following orders, with reports surfacing of brand-new "blacks only" and
Government
WASHINGTON, DC - During a press conference at the White House this morning, Elon Musk delivered a speech on government efficiency, a topic he admittedly knows nothing about. The speech began with Musk confidently outlining a plan to streamline federal agencies but things took a turn when he paused mid-sentence,
politics
In a twist no one saw coming (except, apparently, President Joe Biden), the Commander-in-Chief is now $5 richer after winning a bet on Donald Trump taking the White House over his own Vice President, Kamala Harris. "People said I was just being my usual ‘Uncle Joe’ self," Biden
Elections
With these classic one-liners and tried-and-true strategies, you can hold your own in any political discussion without knowing anything at all. 1. "It’s About Time We Had Some Real Change Around Here" This line is a timeless crowd-pleaser, perfect for any election year. Whether the discussion’s
Satire
Mar-a-Lago, FL— Speaking from his home in Florida, Trump made a statement explaining that the recent Georgia school shooting is a tragedy but could have been avoided if school crossing guards had machine guns. "Let me tell you something, folks," Trump began. "If those school crossing guards
Donald Trump
WASHINGTON, DC - In response to former President Trump's lawyer's "hypothetical" argument that the President is legally allowed to kill political opponents, Supreme Court justices agreed that the president is legally allowed to kill political rivals, as long as there is no more than
Supreme Court
WASHINGTON, DC - While citing an oddly literal interpretation of the second amendment, Trump’s lawyer argued before the Supreme Court that the president can legally order bears to maul his political rivals. “The second amendment discusses bears and how citizens can legally use bears and bear arms,” explained Jack
How to be a dictator
Former American President Donald Trump, possibly in an effort to make himself look like an even worse person, read the article “How to be a Dictator” on the website Wiki-How. This information was released by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) who claims to have been monitoring the
Donald Trump
At a red neck rally in Idaho yesterday, a packed hall of ‘bubbas’ was stunned into silence by the weird and somewhat deranged antics of their hero, ex president and fanny magnet Donald Trump. Just under ten thousand red neck Trump acolytes had each paid a $200 entrance fee to
Donald Trump
At one of ex president and fanny magnet Donald Trump’s Nuremberg style rallies in Iowa yesterday, a publicity stunt organized by the alleged sex offender, fraudster and traitor, Trump, seriously backfired. The publicity stunt involved the use of a martial arts training dummy. This had been modified to have
Supreme Court
Ex-president and fanny magnet Donald Trump has had his share of troubles with the US courts of late. But now in a move widely predicted by pundits, the US Supreme Court has agreed to rule on Trump’s most difficult and controversial court battle. Trump is defending an action brought
Donald Trump
Ex president and orange-faced loud mouth Donald Trump boasted at a recent press call that, because he has recently had his mugshot entered onto police files, he now identifies more with criminals, crooks, embezzlers, traitors, sexual perverts, muggers, the mafia, petty thieves, fraudsters, and kiddie fiddlers. “Just look at my
Boris
In a surprise turnaround, ex President and bewigged ‘hottie’ Donald Trump has abandoned his campaign to gain the Republican Party nomination to run for US president for a second time. Instead he has opted to replace Boris Nadezhdin on the Russian presidency election ticket. Nadezhdin was recently barred from running
Nikki Haley
The news of ‘Run Ronnie Run Away’ DeSantis throwing in the towel for the Republican nomination to run for the US presidency came as no shock to pundits. However, what has taken the world’s political observers by complete surprise is this. A challenge has been issued by the frontrunner
Supreme Court
In a move that has stunned the US judiciary and legal pundits around the world, the US Supreme Court handed down a ruling today that ex president and comb over cretin Donald Trump’s hair can actually file for divorce. “This was totally unexpected and out of the blue,” said
Trump
One of America’s leading paint companies, Valspar, has today proudly announced to a gathered press pack the launch of a new color that it has added to its range of paints. It’s called ‘Trump Sienna’. It’s supposed to be an exact match of the color of ex