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Israel’s Prime Minister Adds ‘Break Ceasefire’ to List of Common Daily Tasks
Jerusalem – According to statements made during a press conference, Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu recently began adding “break ceasefire…
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Name Change to Department of War Postponed Due to Government Shutdown
WASHINGTON — The long-awaited rebranding of the Department of Defense to its more honest title,…
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White House Has Contingency Plan in Case the Rapture Happens and Trump Gets Left Behind
WASHINGTON — According to an anonymous source in the White House, the Trump Administration…
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Press Conference on Meta’s Smart Glasses Derails as Zuckerberg Faces Tough Questions About Molting Season
MENLO PARK, CA — What began as a highly orchestrated product launch for Meta’s…
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Trump Renames Pentagon ‘Department of War,’ Says Defense Is for Losers
WASHINGTON – President Trump signed an executive order Friday morning to rename the Department…
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CEO Says Company’s Benefits Package Includes Dental, Vision, and Not Starving to Death
SAN FRANCISCO – Recently announced startup Meridian Technologies, a call center and sales company,…
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White House Plans to Buy Majority Stake of Netflix to Ensure Citizens Watch Only Government Approved TV Series and Movies
WASHINGTON – After buying a 10% stake of Intel, the Trump Administration has announced…
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Trump Nationalizes D.C. Police to Protect City From Jaywalking Epidemic
WASHINGTON – In an effort to crack down on what Trump described as “the…
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Evangelical Pastor “Ecstatic” About Prospect of Israel-Iran War, Says “End Times Will Finally Happen”
TULSA, Okla. — Local evangelical pastor Pastor Brad Halberd of the Grace Under Fire…
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Local Man Achieves Financial Freedom by Dying
COLUMBUS, Ohio — In an inspiring story of determination and rigorously poor financial planning,…
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Interview: Trump Says He’s Not on Epstein’s List, Suggests Musk ‘Went Crazy’
PALM BEACH, Fla. – President Donald Trump denied claims that his name appears in…