Newsletter
In a bizarre statement from the chimp’s butt-hole face of ex president and fanny magnet Donald Trump, he asserted that Europe is no longer to receive the protection from the US, should the idiot be re-elected. In a statement made to a hastily assembled press pack, the ex president
Democrat Plots
A sneaky underhand plot to return Barack Obama as the next Democrat candidate to run for the US presidency has been exposed during a press conference at the Democratic National Committee headquarters building in Washington. The hastily assembled press call was to announce the replacement of the current incumbent, Joe
Joe Biden
An angry president Biden lashed out at an assembled press pack yesterday but only compounded the rumours that his mental agility is in doubt. Advisors to the president argued strongly against him taking on a press pack baying for his blood, after a recent report was released stating that the
Newsletter
A report on President Biden's handling of classified documents has been released that described the President's memory as "poor at best." According to the report, Biden has been misplacing classified documents and leaving them in random areas in his Delaware home. Biden angrily spoke
Boris
In a surprise turnaround, ex President and bewigged ‘hottie’ Donald Trump has abandoned his campaign to gain the Republican Party nomination to run for US president for a second time. Instead he has opted to replace Boris Nadezhdin on the Russian presidency election ticket. Nadezhdin was recently barred from running
Prison Industrial Complex
ATMORE, Alabama - A prisoner was recently executed in Alabama, in what local officials are calling "the most humane execution ever carried out in the state of Alabama." The state's latest execution took only two hours while previous state executions took over four days. Alabama'
Mark Zuckerberg
While getting questioned and yelled at by U.S. senators, Zuckerberg apologized for any harm children have experienced while using Meta's online platforms, Facebook and Instagram. Zuckerberg admitted that what children encounter on his online platforms has saddened him and would have caused him to have many sleepless
Global Climate Change
Governor Greg Abbott proudly signed into law a bill that has taken a bold step to put an end to the alleged hoax that is climate change by declaring climate change illegal. The new law, dubbed the "Climate Denial Act," makes it a criminal offense to discuss or
Dead Potted Plant
As polls show that the Biden Administration's popularity ratings have been rapidly declining, the Administration has opted to remove Vice President Harris from office and replace her with one of the plants from Biden's Delaware home. Unfortunately, Biden has forgotten to water the plant for some
Catholicism
After a photo of Pope Francis roaming the streets of Vatican City in a puffy coat appeared online last year, Francis made his disdain for puffy coats clear at an annual meeting of religious leaders. "I hate puffy coats," exclaimed Pope Francis. "To be seen in one
Nikki Haley
The news of ‘Run Ronnie Run Away’ DeSantis throwing in the towel for the Republican nomination to run for the US presidency came as no shock to pundits. However, what has taken the world’s political observers by complete surprise is this. A challenge has been issued by the frontrunner
Supreme Court
In a move that has stunned the US judiciary and legal pundits around the world, the US Supreme Court handed down a ruling today that ex president and comb over cretin Donald Trump’s hair can actually file for divorce. “This was totally unexpected and out of the blue,” said
Trump
One of America’s leading paint companies, Valspar, has today proudly announced to a gathered press pack the launch of a new color that it has added to its range of paints. It’s called ‘Trump Sienna’. It’s supposed to be an exact match of the color of ex
Trump
On a snowy afternoon, at a Nuremberg style rally in Colorado, ex-president and fanny magnet Donald Trump made a surprising declaration to an assembled group of his most fanatic red neck supporters. To tumultuous cheering and the strains of ‘I’m Holding Out for a Hero’, the ex Commander-in-Chief ambled
United Kingdom
In a surprise move that has shocked human rights activists, and people smugglers to the core, the UK Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, today announced that he has abandoned the Government’s flagship Rwanda scheme. This was introduced as deterrent to those seeking to enter the country illegally using small boats,
United Kingdom
In a move today that has stunned the British stock exchange, Shell Oil announce the purchase of the UK from the British Government in a ‘buy and lease back’ deal. This is the first time in history such a deal has been struck. At a hastily assembled press briefing, the