Government
The National Security Agency (NSA) has launched a new initiative asking American citizens to voluntarily submit transcripts of their daily conversations. This bold strategy comes after a series of budget cuts, which an NSA spokesperson has described as "a creative opportunity for patriotic community involvement." Dubbed "Project
Business
The CEO of Globex Inc., John Q. Moneybags, has publicly declared that the company's strategic pivot to 'Thoughts and Prayers' has failed to produce the miraculous uptick in quarterly earnings that shareholders were promised. "Upon reflection, it seems that divine intervention is not a substitute
Biden
President Joe Biden has miraculously come to the realization that he is, in fact, the President of the United States. And as if that wasn't enough to stun the nation into silence, he has also single-handedly solved the Middle East crisis. The man who once forgot his own
Russia
MOSCOW — Russian President Vladimir Putin has declared himself the winner of the prestigious "World's Most Humble Leader Award" during a lavish ceremony held in the Kremlin. Putin, known for his modesty and down-to-earth demeanor, graciously accepted the award, which he also designed, funded, and presented to
Elon Musk
Elon Musk announced today that he's not just planning to colonize Mars; he's planning to rule it with an iron fist as its self-proclaimed Supreme Emperor. Flanked by a legion of Tesla-bot bodyguards that eerily resembled rejected Star Wars stormtrooper prototypes, Musk unveiled his audacious plan
North Korea
Pyongyang, Democratic People's Republic of Korea - In a shocking twist of fate, one of Kim Jong Un's closest advisors has recently come forward with a stunning revelation: he is surprised he hasn't been killed yet. The advisor, who preferred to remain anonymous for
Business
Mountain View, CA - Tech giant Google is facing a class-action lawsuit for allegedly forcing its interns to toil away in what they call "Idea Chambers." The dark secret behind the company's renowned innovation might finally be exposed as former interns come forward with disturbing tales
politics
In a shocking turn of events, white politician John McWhiterson recently made a jaw-dropping statement, declaring that he can magically transform into being half black if it ensures him more votes in the upcoming elections. While his intentions might have been to attract a diverse voter base, critics are calling