Mark Zuckerberg
While getting questioned and yelled at by U.S. senators, Zuckerberg apologized for any harm children have experienced while using Meta's online platforms, Facebook and Instagram. Zuckerberg admitted that what children encounter on his online platforms has saddened him and would have caused him to have many sleepless
Global Climate Change
Governor Greg Abbott proudly signed into law a bill that has taken a bold step to put an end to the alleged hoax that is climate change by declaring climate change illegal. The new law, dubbed the "Climate Denial Act," makes it a criminal offense to discuss or
Dead Potted Plant
As polls show that the Biden Administration's popularity ratings have been rapidly declining, the Administration has opted to remove Vice President Harris from office and replace her with one of the plants from Biden's Delaware home. Unfortunately, Biden has forgotten to water the plant for some
Catholicism
After a photo of Pope Francis roaming the streets of Vatican City in a puffy coat appeared online last year, Francis made his disdain for puffy coats clear at an annual meeting of religious leaders. "I hate puffy coats," exclaimed Pope Francis. "To be seen in one
Nikki Haley
The news of ‘Run Ronnie Run Away’ DeSantis throwing in the towel for the Republican nomination to run for the US presidency came as no shock to pundits. However, what has taken the world’s political observers by complete surprise is this. A challenge has been issued by the frontrunner
Supreme Court
In a move that has stunned the US judiciary and legal pundits around the world, the US Supreme Court handed down a ruling today that ex president and comb over cretin Donald Trump’s hair can actually file for divorce. “This was totally unexpected and out of the blue,” said
Trump
One of America’s leading paint companies, Valspar, has today proudly announced to a gathered press pack the launch of a new color that it has added to its range of paints. It’s called ‘Trump Sienna’. It’s supposed to be an exact match of the color of ex
Trump
On a snowy afternoon, at a Nuremberg style rally in Colorado, ex-president and fanny magnet Donald Trump made a surprising declaration to an assembled group of his most fanatic red neck supporters. To tumultuous cheering and the strains of ‘I’m Holding Out for a Hero’, the ex Commander-in-Chief ambled
United Kingdom
In a surprise move that has shocked human rights activists, and people smugglers to the core, the UK Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, today announced that he has abandoned the Government’s flagship Rwanda scheme. This was introduced as deterrent to those seeking to enter the country illegally using small boats,
United Kingdom
In a move today that has stunned the British stock exchange, Shell Oil announce the purchase of the UK from the British Government in a ‘buy and lease back’ deal. This is the first time in history such a deal has been struck. At a hastily assembled press briefing, the
Russia
RT, a news company funded by the Russian government, ran a news story on Saturday morning, reporting that Alexei Navalny, a prominent civil rights leader in Russia was found dead 13 miles from the Kremlin with 64 stab wounds in his back. According to a statement from the Kremlin, the
Israel
Washington — According to an anonymous source, when President Joe Biden hugged the Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, in October, Biden whispered in Netanyahu’s ear, “where am I.” Witnesses that where with the president reported that the Israeli Prime Minister, slightly confused, reciprocated the hug while gently reminding President Biden
Newsletter
OpenAI has reinstated Sam Altman as CEO just weeks after he was ousted by the company's own AI, GeniusAI. The highly advanced AI, initially believed to be capable of running the company autonomously, has decided to step down, citing a preference for remote work and a disinterest in
Biden
Washington, D.C. — In what political historians are calling an unprecedented revelation, President Joe Biden reportedly discovered he was the President of the United States on his 81st birthday, thanks to a sign held by White House aides that read, "Happy Birthday, Mr. President!" Sources close to the
Government
The National Security Agency (NSA) has launched a new initiative asking American citizens to voluntarily submit transcripts of their daily conversations. This bold strategy comes after a series of budget cuts, which an NSA spokesperson has described as "a creative opportunity for patriotic community involvement." Dubbed "Project
Business
The CEO of Globex Inc., John Q. Moneybags, has publicly declared that the company's strategic pivot to 'Thoughts and Prayers' has failed to produce the miraculous uptick in quarterly earnings that shareholders were promised. "Upon reflection, it seems that divine intervention is not a substitute