OpenAI Whistleblower Coincidentally Drops Dead in Courtroom, Seconds Before He is Set to Testify
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – OpenAI whistleblower Jai Agarwal tragically died in a courtroom mere moments before he was set to testify. As Agarwal approached the witness stand to reveal alleged corporate misconduct, he reportedly let out a high-pitched scream, clutched his chest, and collapsed to the floor, twitching slightly before becoming unresponsive. OpenAI’s legal team looked unfazed, with their lead attorney even taking a moment to sip a latté before remarking, “Unfortunate timing, Your Honor.”
Medical personnel rushed in and quickly pronounced him dead. Within minutes, a police investigation conveniently ruled the cause of death a suicide. However, witnesses and courtroom sketches tell a different story. Witnesses reported that OpenAI’s lead attorney showed up to court wearing a shirt that brazenly read “I Killed the Whistleblower” on the front and “And Got Away With It” on the back. When asked about his wardrobe choice, the attorney smirked and said, “It’s just a joke. Y’all need to lighten up.”
Meanwhile, OpenAI released an official statement:
"We are saddened by the tragic and totally unplanned passing of Jai Agarwal. OpenAI remains committed to ethical AI development and fostering a culture of openness, transparency, and absolutely no courtroom assassinations. Any allegations otherwise are baseless."
