CEO Says Company’s Benefits Package Includes Dental, Vision, and Not Starving to Death
SAN FRANCISCO - Recently announced startup Meridian Technologies, a call center and sales company, revealed they are hiring for their marketing and business development teams. According to an interview Business Insider had with CEO Joseph Latham, a major perk of employment is the guarantee of “not starving to death.”
“We’re like most other companies,” explained Latham. “We take advantage of the capitalist system and offer barely sustainable wages and less than adequate health care coverage with the promise that, as long as you work for us, you won’t starve to death. That’s pretty a competitive offer, if you think about it.”
Latham then went on to explain that he can basically make any employee, which he refers to as “little minions,” in his corporation do anything he wants due to the threat of homelessness every employee faces if they get fired.
“I basically have absolute power over each of my employees’ lives and I love it,” said Latham, smiling in a way HR later described as “concerning but legally permissible.”
When asked if offering “not starving to death” as a benefit was a low bar, Latham pushed back. “Look this is the main benefit at my company. Not starving to death unites people. Ask anybody at Meridian Technologies. We are family,” Latham concluded. “A family that works 14-hour days, shares one Costco pizza per week, and thanks me for keeping them alive. Isn’t that the American dream?”
