News

Google Begins Firing Any Employee Who has Opinion on Israel-Palestine Conflict

SILICON VALLEY, CA – Google announced this morning that it will begin terminating any…
Conspiracy Theorist Who Adores Elon Musk Explains How Bill Gates Will Implant Microchips in Everyone

In an exclusive interview from his underground bunker, local conspiracy theorist and self-proclaimed Elon…
8 Things You Should Never Say in an Elevator

“I hope they fixed it this time.” Say this while glancing nervously at the…
Local Man Discovers Hidden Portal to Neighbor’s Garage – Claims He’s ‘Just Borrowing Some Tools’

In a neighborhood that was previously known for its picket fences and well-tended lawns,…
Government Employee is Actually Productive, Nation Declares State of Emergency

Washington, D.C. — A government employee has thrown the United States government into a…
Boeing Dodges Lawsuit After Passengers Fall Out of Giant Hole in Plane

Boeing has apparently sidestepped a major lawsuit after passengers on one of its planes…
Stupid Tips for International Travel

While traveling internationally avoid being robbed by dressing like a homeless person. If you…
Tom Cruise Leaves Scientology, Realizes It’s Not a Prolonged Movie Role

LOS ANGELES – A-list actor Tom Cruise announced he’s parting ways with the Church…
Local Gym’s New Membership Plan Includes Daily Wake Up Call, Mild Threats

In an innovative approach to health and fitness, FlexFlex Revolution Gym has unveiled its…
Biden Angry After Israel Says Aid Convoy Attack was Mistake, Wishes they Would Admit it was on Purpose

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Joe Biden expressed his deep frustration after Israel’s government issued…