News

Evangelical Pastor “Ecstatic” About Prospect of Israel-Iran War, Says “End Times Will Finally Happen”

TULSA, Okla. — Local evangelical pastor Pastor Brad Halberd of the Grace Under Fire…
Local Man Achieves Financial Freedom by Dying

COLUMBUS, Ohio — In an inspiring story of determination and rigorously poor financial planning,…
Interview: Trump Says He’s Not on Epstein’s List, Suggests Musk ‘Went Crazy’

PALM BEACH, Fla. – President Donald Trump denied claims that his name appears in…
Russia and Ukraine Agree to Swap Prisoners in Hopes of Building Trust Before Breaking It Again Tomorrow

KYIV—In a display of almost-cooperation, Russia and Ukraine have agreed to a prisoner swap,…
Israel and Hamas Peace Talks to Be Held as Soon as Both Sides Finish Making the Situation Unpeaceful

TEL AVIV, Israel — In an attempt to make the world a more peaceful…
Trump Deports CNN Reporter to El Salvadorian Prison for Asking Tough Question at Press Conference

WASHINGTON – President Donald Trump this week ordered the deportation of CNN White House…
Futuristic Neighborhood will Alert Paranoid Homeowners to ‘Every Rustling Noise’ and Give Detailed Reports On Neighbors’ Every Move

A nosy neighbor like Mrs. Kravitz, insisting the blonde woman across the street is…
Elon Musk to Start Defense Contracting Company to Steal More Money from Americans

AUSTIN, TX – Elon Musk announced plans this week to launch a new defense…
Local Man Bravely Fights Inflation by Not Paying His Friends Back

BOSTON – Local man Kyle Henderson has found a way to personally combat inflation.…
Parents Tell Four-Year-Old She’s Not Special, Just ‘Adequate Enough to Pay Rent Someday’

SEATTLE – Tired of their four-year-old daughter “bragging” about wanting to be a princess,…