Sam Altman Says his Company’s Eye Scanning Orb is “Definitely” Not Part of a Plan to Plot World Domination

San Francisco, CA — In a move to clear up any confusion surrounding his latest venture, Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI and CEO of World, the organization formerly known as Worldcoin, reassured the public today that the new biometric eye-scanning devices popping up around the world are "definitely, 100%, without

4 of the Most Bizarre Events in History that Prove Life Is Just Plain Weird

History has no shortage of dramatic events, but every now and then, something happens that’s so strange, it feels like the universe itself might be trolling us. Here's a look at some of these bizarre events. 1. The Great Emu War (1932) Apparently, Australia declared war on

Trump Says School Shootings Could be Avoided if School Crossing Guards Get Machine Guns

Mar-a-Lago, FL— Speaking from his home in Florida, Trump made a statement explaining that the recent Georgia school shooting is a tragedy but could have been avoided if school crossing guards had machine guns. "Let me tell you something, folks," Trump began. "If those school crossing guards

5 Absurd Conspiracy Theories That Actually Have a Tiny, Ridiculous Grain of Truth

Conspiracy theories: we love to laugh at them until we realize that sometimes, hidden beneath layers of tinfoil hats and bizarre logic, there’s a tiny, ridiculous grain of truth. Here are five outlandish conspiracy theories that aren’t entirely wrong—just mostly. 1. The Government is Watching You Through

9 Reasons Why You Should Start a Cult Today

So, you’ve grown tired of the daily grind, and your side hustle isn't getting you the mansion and private island you always dreamed of? Well, it might be time to start a cult. Before you dismiss this idea as “morally dubious” or “a quick way to get

Surprising Facts About the Bloody History of Being a Barber

Welcome to the Middle Ages, where a trim, a tooth yank, and a nice, clean amputation were all on the menu.

Local Man Achieves Peak Health by Following Every Morning Show Health Tip

Local 38-year-old office worker Dave Jenkins, who once considered a brisk walk to the fridge his daily exercise, now boasts a far more rigid routine. "I used to think, 'Hey, I’ll just have a cup of coffee and head to work,'" Dave recalls wistfully. "

The 10 Best Gifts to Give Someone without Spending a Dime

The best things in life are free—like unsolicited advice and that sock you found under the couch. Here’s a list of the top gifts you can give without spending a single cent. 1. The Gift of Unsolicited Advice Nothing says "I care" like offering life-changing advice

Help. I’m Trapped! 10 Ways to Get Out of a Boring Conversation

Adam Johns was attending a business dinner recently when the man next to him began to drone on about annuities and asset allocation. Ten minutes in, Johns had enough. But he didn't know how to escape the situation. Here are ten ways to get out of a boring

Biden Falling Asleep Mid-Speech Mistaken for Excessively Long Dramatic Pause

WEST POINT, NY - President Joe Biden's recent graduation speech at West Point was abruptly interrupted when he appeared to fall asleep mid-sentence. The incident, initially perceived as an excessively long dramatic pause, left viewers in a state of confusion. As the President began his address to the

Government Declares War on Piracy, Executes Local Man for Watching "Avengers: Endgame" Without Paying

CINCINNATI, OHIO - Authorities have taken drastic measures to address movie piracy by executing a local man, John Myers, for illegally streaming "Avengers: Endgame" from the comfort of his own home. This marks a new chapter in the war against copyright infringement, where harsh penalties are now the

Local Man that Always Carries Phone that Records his Every Move Fears Bill Gates is Trying to Microchip Him

SPRINGFIELD, IL — Local resident Steve Johnson, a 35-year-old self-proclaimed tech skeptic, is raising alarms in his community with his fervent belief that billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates is planning to microchip everyone. "I've read the articles and watched the videos," said Johnson, while holding his phone, which