Trump Says School Shootings Could be Avoided if School Crossing Guards Get Machine Guns
Mar-a-Lago, FL— Speaking from his home in Florida, Trump made a statement explaining that the recent Georgia school shooting is a tragedy but could have been avoided if school crossing guards had machine guns.
"Let me tell you something, folks," Trump began. "If those school crossing guards were packing heat—big, beautiful, tremendous machine guns—you wouldn't have these tragedies. No tragedies. No one would dare bring guns into a school."
The comments come in the wake of a tragic school shooting in Georgia, where the former president's solution, unsurprisingly, makes no sense. According to Trump, it’s not enough to just arm teachers anymore—even the crossing guards on the sidewalk need firepower.
“You got these crossing guards waving a STOP sign around like it’s 1982. People laugh at them. Sad. These are supposed to be the first line of defense against terrorists and immigrants—machine guns are a minimum," Trump explained.
When asked whether it might be difficult to train elderly volunteers—who are usually retired and just looking for something to do—Trump scoffed. “Training? Let me tell you something. We don’t need training. When I was five years old, I could have operated a tank. I’m a natural, okay? And the same goes for them. Believe me, crossing guards are just waiting to unleash their inner Rambo.”
Critics have been quick to respond, with Democrats, school officials, and the U.S. Department of Education calling the plan "insane."
