Mark Zuckerberg Unable to Attend Trump Inauguration Due to Reptilian Meeting Being Held the Same Day
MENLO PARK, CA — Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced that he will be unable to attend President Donald Trump's inauguration due to a prior commitment: a high-level meeting of the global reptilian elite scheduled for the same day.
Zuckerberg, who was slated to co-host a reception with prominent Republican donors expressed his regrets in a statement released on Monday. "While I was looking forward to celebrating this momentous occasion, my obligations to the Galactic Federation's Reptilian Council must take precedence," Zuckerberg stated.
Despite Zuckerberg's absence, fellow tech titans Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos are still expected to attend the inauguration. The trio had been slated to sit together alongside cabinet nominees and elected officials, symbolizing the close ties between the tech industry and the new administration.
Conspiracy theorists have long speculated about the involvement of reptilian beings in global affairs, and Zuckerberg's latest admission is sure to fuel further debate. When pressed for details about the meeting's agenda, Zuckerberg remained tight-lipped, simply stating, "What happens in the underground lair stays in the underground lair."
