Leaked: Trump has Shrine to Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinping in Oval Office
WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to an anonymous White House staffer, President Trump has erected a shrine to Russian President Vladimir Putin and Chinese President Xi Jinping behind his desk in the Oval Office.
“He prays to it every night,” said the staffer, who claims he once overheard Trump asking the two miniature golden figurines for “strength, power, and sexual vitality.”
The shrine reportedly includes photos of Putin on horseback, Xi giving stern speeches, and a small red candle. Sources say the candle emits the faint smell of Russian caviar and Chinese factory smoke.
When asked about the alleged shrine, Trump told reporters, “I have tremendous respect for both leaders. Strong men. Very strong. You know, I like strong men. People say I shouldn’t, but I do. Xi calls me his little panda. Putin calls me his golden bear. Very nice nicknames. Very powerful.”
The staffer further alleged that during late-night hours, Trump can be heard whispering, “Teach me, Daddy Vlad,” while gently polishing the Putin statue with one of Melania’s old silk scarves.
Another source, a Secret Service agent stationed outside the Oval Office, reported hearing a chant one evening that included the words “Consolidate the branches, dissolve the checks, remove the balances.”
Political analysts say this could mark Trump’s first step toward his long-stated dream of becoming “King of America.” In a recent post on Truth Social, Trump stated, “You know, George Washington could have been king, but he chickened out. Sad! If I were him, we’d all be wearing gold crowns right now, and they’d be beautiful crowns, the best crowns.”
In a follow-up question about whether the shrine violated any national security protocols, Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt responded, “The President’s spirituality is his own business. It’s a very beautiful, very sacred thing. The candles are American-made.”
