In Response to Trump’s Lawyer’s Argument that President can Kill Political Rivals, Justices Say President is Only able to Kill Three Political Rivals in One Term
WASHINGTON, DC - In response to former President Trump's lawyer's "hypothetical" argument that the President is legally allowed to kill political opponents, Supreme Court justices agreed that the president is legally allowed to kill political rivals, as long as there is no more than three political rivals killed in one presidential term.
"It concerns me that a president could be punished for committing crimes," said Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. "A president is not just some ordinary person living in the suburbs trying to earn a living. If he was, it would be a different story. I mean then we would certainly agree that he should be punished," continued Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh.
In agreement with Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh, Supreme Court Justice John Roberts stated, "I agree. If you can't kill a few people every so often, what's the point of being president or being in any position of power."
"Could we at least agree that killing more than three people in a period of four years is excessive," interrupted Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson.
"I agree with Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson. It's essential to maintain some decorum in office," stated Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh. "If a president could just go around eliminating every irritant, where would the fun in politics be? The occasional sanctioned rivalry culling keeps everyone on their toes and the debates spicy."
Justice Roberts agreeing with the other Justices said, "Yes, I concur. More than three killings in one presidential term seems excessive, even if they are political rivals." Justice Roberts began looking around and continued, "I think we're all in agreement." As the other Supreme Court justices nodded in agreement, Justice Roberts concluded by saying, "the president should be entitled to kill a maximum of three political rivals per term."
The ramifications this could have for future president's and their political rivals remains to be seen. However, legal experts agree that if the supreme court agrees to set a precedent allowing the president to kill political rivals, it would at least have the benefit of keeping the public interested in politics with them wondering who will die next.
