Democrats Tell Troops to Follow the Constitution; Trump Responds by Adding It to the Banned Books List
In a move that historians are already describing as “somehow both predictable and profoundly stupid,” President Donald Trump has added the U.S. Constitution to his official list of banned books, after Democrats urged members of the military to follow it if given illegal orders.
The controversy began when Democratic lawmakers released a statement reminding service members that they are obligated to obey lawful orders and to refuse unlawful orders, citing the Constitution as their guiding authority.
However, Trump took this basic civics lesson as a signal of a“deep state coup.”
“They’re traitors. Total traitors,” he declared from the oval office. “Telling the troops to follow the Constitution instead of me? Disgusting. Very unconstitutional, which is why we’re banning it. Bad document. Failing document. Nobody reads it anyway.”
Sources close to Trump say he personally reviewed the Constitution for “about eight seconds” before deciding it was “full of nasty little rules” that “limit his natural presidential instincts.”
The decision to ban the Constitution places it alongside other works the president has deemed dangerous, including To Kill a Mockingbird, books containing “math I don’t like,” and any book mentioning the word “accountability.”
