News
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JD Vance Defends 30 Year-olds’ Racist Group Texts: ‘Hey, We All Passed Notes About Swastikas in Fourth Grade’
WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance downplayed messages in a Young Republicans group chat…
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Trump Admits He Does Not Know Definition of the Word ‘Christian’
WASHINGTON – During a speech held at the White House, President Trump, who claims…
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Putin Denies Involvement in Political Opponent’s Death, Cites “Rare Condition Where People Fall 70 Feet Out of Windows”
MOSCOW — Responding to growing speculation over the mysterious death of opposition figure and…
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Name Change to Department of War Postponed Due to Government Shutdown
WASHINGTON — The long-awaited rebranding of the Department of Defense to its more honest title,…
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White House Has Contingency Plan in Case the Rapture Happens and Trump Gets Left Behind
WASHINGTON — According to an anonymous source in the White House, the Trump Administration…
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Press Conference on Meta’s Smart Glasses Derails as Zuckerberg Faces Tough Questions About Molting Season
MENLO PARK, CA — What began as a highly orchestrated product launch for Meta’s…
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Trump Renames Pentagon ‘Department of War,’ Says Defense Is for Losers
WASHINGTON – President Trump signed an executive order Friday morning to rename the Department…
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CEO Says Company’s Benefits Package Includes Dental, Vision, and Not Starving to Death
SAN FRANCISCO – Recently announced startup Meridian Technologies, a call center and sales company,…
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White House Plans to Buy Majority Stake of Netflix to Ensure Citizens Watch Only Government Approved TV Series and Movies
WASHINGTON – After buying a 10% stake of Intel, the Trump Administration has announced…
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Trump Nationalizes D.C. Police to Protect City From Jaywalking Epidemic
WASHINGTON – In an effort to crack down on what Trump described as “the…