Jerusalem – According to statements made during a press conference, Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu recently began adding “break ceasefire with Hamas” to his list of daily tasks,  right alongside “brush teeth,” “check polls,” and “commit war crimes.”

“We broke the ceasefire with Hamas and killed over a hundred people in one day,” Netanyahu said gleefully from the podium, flashing a grin usually reserved for campaign ads and war crime tribunals. “But unfortunately, we are resuming the ceasefire today.”

According to sources close to the Prime Minister’s Office, Netanyahu begins each morning with a routine checklist designed to “maintain a healthy balance between diplomacy and airstrikes.” The laminated card reportedly reads:

1. Drink coffee

2. Blame Hamas

3. Break ceasefire

4. Deny breaking ceasefire

5. Smile for CNN interview

“I know this is worrying news for those of us who want to see the total destruction of Palestine,” Netanyahu said, pausing for applause that didn’t come. “But don’t worry, I’ve added break ceasefire with Hamas to my list of daily tasks. Some people go to the gym, I prefer precision bombing.”

The statement follows Israel’s most recent breach of the truce on October 29, when airstrikes reportedly resumed less than 24 hours after both sides agreed to a “mutual pause.” Military officials called the incident “a misunderstanding,” claiming they thought “ceasefire” was “just a suggestion.”

When pressed for comment on how long the new ceasefire will last, Netanyahu sighed. “Until tomorrow’s to-do list,” he said.