International
KYIV—In a display of almost-cooperation, Russia and Ukraine have agreed to a prisoner swap, marking the first time in months the two nations have accomplished anything together besides blaming each other for catastrophic explosions. The deal, described by both sides as “a small but meaningful step,” involved exchanging soldiers,
Elon Musk
AUSTIN, TX - Elon Musk announced plans this week to launch a new defense contracting firm, StarBrigade, aimed at accelerating his long-term vision of profiting off every corner of human existence, including international conflict. At a press conference held at Tesla's headquarters, Musk explained his motivation. “I’ve
Trump and Zelensky
WASHINGTON - After a tumultuous meeting between Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky and President Donald Trump, Trump stated during his congressional address that having a “nice steak dinner” could lead to the brokering of a peace deal with Russia. Trump, who claimed to have "brokered the best deals, the very
International
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Joe Biden expressed his deep frustration after Israel's government issued a statement claiming that the recent attack on an aid convoy was, in fact, a mistake. The President, known for his calm demeanor and aviator sunglasses, reportedly wishes Israel would just admit it
Israel
Washington — According to an anonymous source, when President Joe Biden hugged the Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, in October, Biden whispered in Netanyahu’s ear, “where am I.” Witnesses that where with the president reported that the Israeli Prime Minister, slightly confused, reciprocated the hug while gently reminding President Biden
Biden
President Joe Biden has miraculously come to the realization that he is, in fact, the President of the United States. And as if that wasn't enough to stun the nation into silence, he has also single-handedly solved the Middle East crisis. The man who once forgot his own
Russia
MOSCOW — Russian President Vladimir Putin has declared himself the winner of the prestigious "World's Most Humble Leader Award" during a lavish ceremony held in the Kremlin. Putin, known for his modesty and down-to-earth demeanor, graciously accepted the award, which he also designed, funded, and presented to