Culture of Collapse
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Local True Crime Enthusiast Can’t Wait Until Serial Killer Commits Next Murder
SPRINGFIELD, IL — Local resident and self-described “true crime junkie” Melissa Hargrove says she’s…
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Evangelical Pastor “Ecstatic” About Prospect of Israel-Iran War, Says “End Times Will Finally Happen”
TULSA, Okla. — Local evangelical pastor Pastor Brad Halberd of the Grace Under Fire…
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Local Man Achieves Financial Freedom by Dying
COLUMBUS, Ohio — In an inspiring story of determination and rigorously poor financial planning,…
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Futuristic Neighborhood will Alert Paranoid Homeowners to ‘Every Rustling Noise’ and Give Detailed Reports On Neighbors’ Every Move
A nosy neighbor like Mrs. Kravitz, insisting the blonde woman across the street is…
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Local Man Bravely Fights Inflation by Not Paying His Friends Back
BOSTON – Local man Kyle Henderson has found a way to personally combat inflation.…
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Parents Tell Four-Year-Old She’s Not Special, Just ‘Adequate Enough to Pay Rent Someday’
SEATTLE – Tired of their four-year-old daughter “bragging” about wanting to be a princess,…
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Local Man Successfully Assembles IKEA Furniture Without Swearing Once
SPRINGFIELD, IL — In what local neighbors are calling an unprecedented feat of patience…
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It’s Time to Bring Back the Most Humane Form of Capital Punishment – Firing Squads
Not only is the firing squad more humane, it’s also a return to proud…
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Maybe If We Just Ignore Climate Change, It Will Go Away Like My Ex Did
Look, I get it. Climate change is a looming existential threat, the planet is…
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Doomsday Cult Disappointed Yet Again as World Fails to End for Fifth Consecutive Prophecy
DES MOINES, IOWA – Members of the Heaven’s Truth organization, who are adamant their…